"A Story of God's Free Grace"

Testimony of Katherine VanLengen

I remember one afternoon in the kitchen when I was in high school, the Bible came up in conversation, which is the only time I remember this happening.  I don’t know how the conversation began, but it turned to whether the Bible was true or not.  I do remember I asked “How do you know the Bible is not just a well-written book that some guy wrote, like some good novel or something, or like Homer’s Odyssey?”  I’ll never forget the look on my mother’s face when she spun around, locked eyes with me and said “Don’t you ever say anything like that again!” 

She didn’t say this in anger, but was very firm, and I didn’t understand her reaction.  I know that teenagers can be smart alecks, and I could be sarcastic at times, but my question was genuine.  I wanted to know, but I didn’t understand her reaction, so I said nothing.  It’s unfortunate that this misunderstanding of my intent caused the loss of a perfect opportunity for my mother to tell me why she knew the Bible was the true.

Years passed and the daily distractions of working full time while raising children kept me from going back to the question of religion or the validity of the Bible.  I didn’t understand why people went to church.  I’m ashamed to say that I thought it was a sign of weakness – that people who couldn’t depend on themselves to succeed went to church for guidance and support.  I grew up learning to depend on myself and to work hard to achieve goals. 

I wasn’t sure about God and heaven, but thought about it from time to time.  I couldn’t see God or touch him, so it was all just too hard for me to understand.  I never feared going to hell.  I was a skeptic, but at the same time, I saw and experienced things that seemed miraculous and that I couldn’t explain, so I wasn’t brave enough to take the atheist’s position either.  It was all very confusing.

But over the past ten years, I noticed more and more how certain people were different, especially when faced with adversity.  They handled the toughest stress, including nasty divorces and even facing death or the death of a loved one, with a calmness that I couldn’t imagine having. 

They were often the ones who would say, “It’s in the Lord’s hands,” when times were tough, or “Thank you, Jesus,” when something went well.  It wasn’t hard to see the common theme.  These people had faith.  I may not have had a fear of hell, but I was missing this faith that gave them this inner peace and strength that I saw.  I knew it was something very special.

At a funeral service, my husband and I heard Dr. Mike Halsey talk about salvation through faith and faith alone.  Neither of us had heard of free grace, and this caught our attention.  We also liked the way he clearly and simply communicated his message.  There weren’t any complicated, abstract concepts forcing us to try to figure out the sermon’s message.  

Al and I spoke about faith a few times and basically I kept going back to saying, “I want to understand this faith that people have.  There is truly something to this that I need to know and want to have.”  I even felt selfish for it, but this was something I really wanted.  Before I knew it, my husband called a friend to see what time services at County Line were held. 

I was actually nervous about going to church.  I feared that people would sense my ignorance.  If anyone asked me about the Bible, I would have no idea what to say.  I know Dr. Halsey noticed that I had to use the Table of Contents to find the verses he wanted us to turn to.  This was embarrassing, but I never sensed any condemnation from him or anyone else.

My husband and I immediately began looking forward to Sunday mornings and came to church every Sunday that we could.  I began reading the Bible on my own, (which also helped me locate the books without the table of contents). I was thirsty for knowledge because I needed it to have faith. 

I couldn’t believe just because someone told me I should.  With each passing week, more pieces of the puzzle were coming together for me.  The doctrine of free grace was making more and more sense, and this actually happened quickly.

I think the pivotal point for me was one Sunday when we were looking at several verses from both the Old and New Testaments.  We saw prophecies in the Old Testament that came to true in the New Testament, with amazing accuracy and in very specific detail.  The parallels in the passages were eye opening.  Then Dr. Halsey asked, “How could the Bible have been written by so many different people, over such a long period of time, with such consistency and accuracy, if the Bible were not the true inspired Word of God?”  That was my ‘Aha!’ moment. That wrapped it up for me.

There was no blinding light on the road to Damascus , but all the way home I kept asking my husband, “Why didn’t someone tell me?”  How come I never heard this before?  If I had only known.”   No blinding light, but a validation that the Bible was in fact the true, inspired Word of God.  This allowed me to move past all my skepticism and opened my mind and heart to what God has revealed in His Word. 

Since then, it has been a steady progression of increasing knowledge and understanding.  Proverbs 19:2 applied to me: “It is not good to have zeal without knowledge, nor to be hasty and miss the way.”  It was a long time coming for me, but with knowledge has come the zeal.

I had never prayed before, but now I ask God for His protection, His wisdom and His guidance. I even enrolled in Free Grace Seminary and am enjoying every minute of it.  In the last year, I’ve had more conversations about Christianity, the Bible, and free grace than I ever imagined I would.  I was afraid at first, fearing that I wouldn’t get it right or wouldn’t have the answers to questions that someone might raise.  I found that if I stick to what I do know and understand, and keep it simple, the message will come across properly and genuinely.  

If you have the opportunity to share the gospel or invite someone to church, do so.  That’s basically all it took for me.

God bless you.